Secret
by halcyon-longing
Summary: Dell has been spending a lot of time at Red Rocket on her own.


Dell's hands were scratched and sore from the splintered wood, but every piece had to be perfect. This had been her pet project for the last few days after asking Sturges for a crash course in wood carving. The first day, Robert tried to follow her to Red Rocket, little Duncan perched on his shoulders. One look was enough, though, and he turned tail back to Sanctuary, no doubt holding back a string of whines.

Dell loved him, but dear god, the man was no better than his toddler sometimes.

After checking that each painted piece had dried evenly and that nothing had splintered overnight, she carefully piled her work into Duncan's backpack that she had snagged from his room this morning. The kid had so much attention from the residents of Sanctuary, each one an honorary aunt or uncle, that he would never know it was missing.  
When Dell reached Sanctuary, she spotted Robert and Duncan atop the makeshift watchtower. All she could see of Duncan were his light brown curls, but Robert's hat was unmistakable. As she approached, she called out to them.

"Come on down, boys, I have a surprise for you!"

Duncan's head popped up at her voice and he tugged at his dad's sleeve. Robert's face split into a big grin before scooping up his son and descending the ladder.

"There you are," he smiled, strolling towards her and trying to look casual when she knew he was close to bursting with excitement at her return, "Thought you had started a new family at Red Rocket without us."

A family. That's what they were. At least, that's what Robert called them. Dell was reluctant to believe it herself. Every day, the guilt from losing Nate and Shaun and being helpless to do anything ate away at her, a dull gnawing pain in her heart she feared would never fade. Calling Robert and Duncan her family would mean moving on, and Dell wasn't sure if she would ever be able to do so.

The word first came up when they gave Duncan's cure to Daisy. It felt like ages had passed since then, when it was only three or so months ago.

"It's really happening, isn't it?" Robert had asked, arms wrapped tightly around her waist as he pulled her against him, "He's going to be okay. We're going to be a family."

At first, Dell thought he meant that he and Duncan would be a family again, but the look in his eyes told another story. Dell had carefully wiggled out of the embrace and given him an uncomfortable smile and a nod, but she was screaming on the inside. Ever since Robert had told her about his son, she had felt a fierce protectiveness for him. Maybe it was because of how much she loved Robert or maybe it was her maternal instinct kicking in, but Dell wanted to see this boy safe and happy more than anything else. She would never replace Lucy, she had established that for herself. She would only offer as much as Robert wanted her to, not only to stop herself from overstepping boundaries, but to protect herself as well.

Back in Sanctuary, Dell gave Robert the same uncomfortable smile at his comment and tried to redirect the conversation.

"Let's go inside to open your present."

They headed back to their house, the one closest to the bridge leading into Sanctuary. It would have been too painful taking up residence in her pre-War home, having Robert sleep next to her on the bed where she and Nate had consummated their marriage and conceived Shaun. The settlers knew Dell had once lived in the neighborhood, but didn't ask questions when she requested that the house remain unoccupied and the door stay firmly shut.

Robert ducked through the doorway and Duncan giggled as he brushed the top of the frame with his little hands. As Dell sat down on the floor, Robert lifted Duncan from his shoulders and set him gently beside him. Duncan's fingers immediately clutched at Robert's legs for support. The illness had struck him at such an early age and left him bedbound for over a year, causing a number of problems with his development. At three, he still struggled with standing and walking independently, although his mind was alert and eager to take in the new world around him.

Duncan's bright blue eyes, so much like his father's, peered out from around Robert's leg.

"Go on," Robert gave him a little nudge, and he teetered forward. His steps were cautious and clumsy; Dell's heart broke as she imagined him back in Little Lamplight, too frail and sickly to move while the other kids ran around and played.

Dell crouched down and extended the backpack towards him. Duncan watched her carefully, keeping his guard up until his curiosity won over and he grabbed the bag. His hands fumbled with the snaps and Dell could see his rising frustration at the way his fingers wouldn't do what he wanted. She gave him a soft smile as she placed her hands over his and helped form his fingers around the clasp.

Dell sat back and looked up at Robert, who seemed to be as captivated by the surprise as his son.

"What is it, Duncan?" he asked as he dropped to his knees, barely able to hide the excitement in his voice. Duncan's hand disappeared inside the bag and rummaged around. It withdrew clutching a carefully painted red stick. His eyebrows knit together in confusion before he tipped the entire bag over.

Colored sticks of varying lengths and small wooden wheels rolled across the floor. Duncan let out a cackle at the loud clattering and reached for the pieces with a wide grin. He took a wheel in one fist and a green stick in another and looked at Dell, eyes wide.

"They were called Tinkertoys when I was little. You can build with them. See the little hole there?" She gestured to the wheel, into which she had painstakingly carved six holes of equal size. "You put the stick in, and-"

Duncan fit the stick into the hole with a bit of effort and held it victoriously above his head.

"Just like that," she smiled as Duncan dropped the pieces and dived into the pile hands first.

"This is amazing," Robert said breathlessly, watching his son eagerly shove pieces together in every possible way.

"I thought it would help with his fine motor skills," Dell sighed and flexed her sore fingers gingerly, "I think there's still a tree's worth of splinters in my hands, though."

Robert took her hands and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

"Amazing," he repeated, giving her hands a light squeeze.

Dell blushed. Even after months of their relationship, he still found little ways to make her heart flutter.

"Build a house?" Duncan asked his father, after his eyes flickered towards their intertwined fingers.

"Sure buddy," he replied and gave Dell a wink before releasing her hands.

They set to work, fitting sticks together and using the wheels to hold them in place. Duncan struggled with the smaller sticks, but Robert was always there within seconds to help guide them. Slowly but steadily, they assembled a house that easily could have measured up to anything Dell had built in her childhood with her own set. It was only the frame, with a few sticks laid across the top to represent a roof, but Duncan seemed more than happy with his masterpiece.

As the boys sat back to admire their work, Dell took two wheels and placed them inside of the frame.

"There, Duncan and Daddy." She gestured to each of them.

Dell didn't miss Robert's sideways glance or the slight furrow between his eyebrows. He reached for another wheel and placed it inside the house next to the others.

"And Mommy."

Duncan looked up and met Dell's eyes with the same expression as his father. Dell opened her mouth to splutter out something about needing to go, but Robert took her hand again.

"Mommy, Daddy, and Duncan. We're one family now."

There was a sadness in his eyes that Dell remembered seeing whenever he used to talk about finding the cure for Duncan. It was both pleading and hopeful.

Dell closed her mouth and nodded. Sitting there on the floor, Duncan between them, Dell at last started to understand what Robert meant when he first called them a family. They had both lost their best friends, the person they thought they would spend the rest of their lives with, and nearly lost a child in some way. Being together here and now wasn't replacing the family they had lost. The three of them were shattered pieces of a mirror, left behind in the dust. But in the ruins, they had found each other and patched themselves up. They weren't the same as before, but they fit together and made something whole and beautiful.

Duncan climbed onto Robert's lap, and Robert slung a lanky arm around Dell's shoulders. She leaned against his chest and allowed herself to close her eyes.

If he was ready, then she was ready.


End file.
